*skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game
SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”
- call you names
- tell you weird and personal details about myself
- say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
- type in caps a lot.
If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:
- talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts
- share funny photos from my tumblr dash
- actually tell you when i’m upset
- try to make conversation with you
- just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
- tell you jokes even if they’re bad
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.